Candid

Dear blog,

I am not an interesting person. Most people would leave me alone after finding out that I'm actually a bore. But there is one guy who's had a taste of my boredom and yet refused to leave? 

In this context, I really don't feel flattered that someone wants to keep in contact with me so bad. Cuz it feels like there's an agenda behind it. He is either maintaining his social network or he wants something from me. & if that's what he wants, he can like forget it.

I like him. Why wouldn't you like a person who wants to be your friend so eagerly? But at the same time it doesn't feel like it; because he wouldn't let me know him better and yet wants to know me better. How does a friendship even progress like this?

I can't even be bothered to tell deeper to him because he'll probably stop replying like how he does normally.

I am forced into a small talk which makes me feel highly uncomfortable from head to toe. Most of the time I would give a reply even though it is like a convo terminator, to show that I still care. But sometimes I just give up and not reply entirely. But he would still say hi and ask the same question which I have given my model answer so many times. This is not going to work bro.

Usual humans don't usually ask people to fuck off and quit trying to be their friends. But at times I think I should be unusual. I am not one who can pretentiously maintain a half-hearted relationship and hold shallow conversations. These kind of things makes me want to runaway. Even responding with smiles are weird because my face refuses to smile fakely too.

I think I am just going to tell you.